TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'VE OVERDOSED ON THE WEB:

10. Your opening line is: "So, what's your homepage address?"

9. You see a beautiful sunset, and you half-expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape 3.0" on one of the clouds.

8. You are overcome with disbelief, anger, and finally depressed acceptance when you encounter a Webpage with no links.

7. You felt driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your wedding day.

6. One of your best friends is Mirsky, and you've never met him.

5. You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careening towards the flimsy guardrail that separates you from the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death, and you desperately look for the "Back" button.

4. You visit "The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything" again and again and again.

3. Your dog has his own webpage.

2. So does your hamster.

AND the number one sign that you have overdosed on the World Wide Web:

1. When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages!