"...without something, you have no nothing..."
SPICE WORLD (PG) 
Reviewed January 27, 1998 - Check out the Spice World web site.
I wish I could say that my decision to see Spice World was a purely altruistic one. After all, someone has to review these films for you, right? Okay, okay, so forget altruism and just move to morbid curiosity. Being not-so-familiar with the whole "Spice Girls" phenomenon, I figured that Spice World would help me understand what all the fuss is about.
Wishful thinking.
From the top: there's Scary Spice, Sporty Spice, Ginger Spice, Baby Spice, and Posh Spice. Five Spices singin' and dancin' and gigglin' over "girl power" in a 90-minute music video/photo-op/ad campaign full of bright colors, flashy costumes, cheesy skits, and all that Spice Girls music. Are the Spice Girls having fun in this movie? Sure! Do they know how bad it is? Yes!! Do they care? Of course not!!!
I'm not sure if Spice World was ever meant to be a "good" movie, but it is definitely not. Yes, I know it's supposed to be a spoof, and yes, the film is done in a tongue-in-cheek manner, but the end result is nevertheless one surprisingly bad movie. All flash and energy, and no substance...that's Spice World. Unless you're absolutely in love with these gals (as many apparently are), make an effort to see something else...
Responses from cyberspace--thanks for writing!
deyna@elf.waw.pl
gives this movie star: "is
this a movie??? well unbelivable!!!!!!" (1/6/01)
Stupidhead gives this movie stars: "What
a BAD movie!!! Thoughtful, well-plotted, well-acted...no, wait, sorry.
Wrong movie. I was trying to think of words to describe how horrificly,
terribly bad this film was. I can't. Spice World is a blatant ripoff of
A Hard Day's Night, and it's meant to be seen as such. The writers (and
oh, how loosely I use that term) went with the theatrical wink and rough
poke to the ribs of the audience. *SEE* the girls hang out together in
their ordinary sized, Union Jack painted double-decker bus (ordinary on
the outside, anyway, on the inside it's as spacious as the space between
a married couple in bed). *HEAR* the girls sing on the soundtrack ('cause
they're lip-synching - badly - on film, you know). Sometimes its different
versions of the same songs, sometimes it's just the chorus. Over and over
and over and over. *CRINGE* as the girls have one meaningless celebrity
encounter after another (Elton John, Bob Hoskins, Bob Geldof, Elvis Costello,
and AbFab's Jennifer Saunders, to name a few). *SHAKE* your head in puzzlement
as you try to figure out just what the hell Roger Moore (as "The Chief,"
whoever the hell that is) is doing bottle-feeding a piglet. *PRAY* that
Meat Loaf (playing Dennis, the girls' bus driver) veers off of a cliff,
bringing it all to a merciful, violent, explosive end. Do that for us,
Meat, and I'd forgive you for Black Dog. Look, if you're expecting anything,
anything of substance at all, from this movie, you're every bit as bubbleheaded
as the girls themselves. They may be pretty to look at, but on film, they're
every bit as transparent as you might think they are. The acting is beneath
subpar. The singing is your basic, bubblegum pop that you've come to expect
from the Spice Girls. But to see them *try* to act is almost painful. Each
has their little bit, and each sticks with it: in the case of Posh, that
vacant look from her face; in the case of Scary, that stupid "I'm
so badass" growl; Ginger flashes the peace sign, Sporty dances around
and does backflips, and Baby remains orally fixated on her lollipop. The
best scene is when each Spice dresses up as a different Spice, and we see
how absurd they all really are. Only Richard E. Grant, as the girls' manager,
is even remotely entertaining, and he just gets on your nerves after a
certain amount of time. Say, half an hour. Pure fluff, and you probably
won't even crack a smile. You may even kick your television or punch someone
for saying that this crap was awesome. Yeah, right." (8/3/99)
Crystal Ramos gives this movie stars: "IT
WAS THE BEST MOVIE IN ALL TIME . [P.S.] I MEAN IT. IT THE COOLEST MOVIE
EVER." (7/17/99)
fightman@hotmail.com
gives this movie stars: "I
thought Spiceworld was fantastic. The Spice Girls charmed me, I loved their
brilliant songs, and I thought the humor was very effective." (7/8/99)
ShadowRaider_98@yahoo.com
gives this movie star: "Let
Spiceworld fall victim to the Beast Planet (just a joke). 'Girl power'
means nothing if you can't spell it. IF THE SPICE GIRLS STAR IN IT, IT
DOESN'T HAVE A PRAYER. What the hell were you expecting, War Planets? Oh,
and for all of the raters who rated this garbage 4 or 5 stars, I'm so sorry
for all of you who paid to see it. It's the most over-rated and stupid
movie of 'em all. My God, who was in charge?" (6/24/99)
Diana Robertozzi gives this movie stars: "It
was the greatest movie of all time. My whole family like's the Spice Girl's.
Yeeaahhhhhh." (5/16/99)
gbdoagb gives this movie star: "God
that movie sucked!!!" (3/28/99)
I, the avid movie goes gives this movie stars: "to
SPICEWORLD! SPICEWORLD is a very good movie showing each of the girls'
individual creativity and imagination. Sure it didn't have too much of
a story-line but if the SPICE GIRLS are in it, the fans are going to see
it!" (9/3/98)
Joanna Garcia gives this movie stars: "Well
the movie was tha bomb im going to buy it.My favorite spice girl is sporty
she is what you call the bomb !!!!!!!!!!!!.Lots of hugs to Emma,Melanie
C,Melanie B,and Victoria. Well I think that you dont need geri she is starting
to get concided thats probably why she quit but youll survive with out
her. With lots of love joanna. P.S dont let geri come back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (8/19/98)
Ross O. gives this movie stars: "The
movie was the best made of a musical band" (8/18/98)
Stephanie gives this movie stars: "i
give this movie 5 stars. it is the best movie ihave ever seen." (8/15/98)
python38@hotmail.com
gives this movie stars: "It
was very good I love The Spice Girls" (8/13/98)
maddlesk@yahoo.com
gives this movie stars: "E-mail
me." (8/12/98)
Adrian gives this movie stars: "I
thought Spice World was an awesome movie! It was funny and entertaining.
Even though the Spice Girls isn't my favorite group, I still loved the
movie." (8/10/98)
Tara Murphy gives this movie star: "this
movie sucks so badly i hate it and i hate spice girls my ass could sing
better than them????" (8/8/98)
khodges@modesto.net
gives this movie stars: "I
love this movie it was so Cool. Thanks for making the movie! I hope Geri
comes back. If she does, I hope I can get her autograph. There's a lot
of fans who like the Spice Girls, and without Geri it's just not like the
Spice Girls. I hope she comes back. I hope a lot of people like the Spice
Girls." (8/6/98)
Taylor Strittmatter gives this movie stars: "I
thought Spice World was the best movie I've ever seen. I could watch it
19 times straight and never get bored!" (8/6/98)
Melanie Arrowsmith gives this movie stars: "Poor
Geri! I love all the Spice Girls but I love Geri most. This is my order.
Geri Victoria Emma Mel C Mel B" (7/30/98)
soccerash@hotmail.com
gives this movie stars: "I
give this movie 4 stars because it is very funny and part of it shows how
the spice girls lives." (7/27/98)
Ashley Taylor gives this movie stars: "i
love this movie . i want to be exactly like emma !!!!i love her. i wish
i could meet her and them in person. the movie showed people how diffrent
and awesome the are." (7/26/98)
Bmatney591@aol.com
gives this movie stars: "It
wuz da bomb not cheezy noy cheezy. Soooooo Spice up your life and get it" (7/22/98)
emcol@tstt.net.tstt
gives this movie stars: "i
think that the part with the aleins was dum and it made the movie look
stupid" (7/21/98)
as2r@virginia.edu
gives this movie stars: "I
gave Spice World five stars because,I really really liked the movie Spice
World.If the Spice Girls ever break up I'll remember them by the movie
Spice Girls." (7/19/98)
Vanessa Mccullough gives this movie stars: "Spice
Girls aren't very good acters but they sure sing good!!! I'm going to 1
of there contserts 1 of the reson's that I like Spice World so much is
because the movie has no point to it!!!But the Spice Girls are cool Geri
should have not quit because no 1 likes her anymore!!!! S.P.I.C.E.S W.O.R.L.D.
K.I.C.K.S. A.S.S.!!!!!! P.S - Some parts are dum oh and the Spice Girls
should have more time to talk to fans." (7/19/98)
nutso@warwick.net
gives this movie stars: "We
are 7 and 8 years old and think the spice girls are the greatest and so
was the movie." (7/19/98)
joe_tamburro@bca.aust.com
gives this movie stars: "We
thought the Spice World movie was great and special and the Spice Girls
were fantastic , the funniest part was when Geri said "is there nothing
on tely then" !!!!G!IRL POWER!!!!!!!" (7/18/98)
djdawes@sprint.ca
gives this movie stars: "Spice
World are you kidding it was the wickest movie I have ever seen even though
I am 15 I love the Spice Girls me and my mom love the Spice Girls
and we both thought that it was a very cute movie my favorite part was
when Geri and Mel.B were playing chess and Mel.B didn't really know how
to play now that was funny and I liked the song leader of the gang thanks
sprice girls for making this movie for all your fans sporty rules"
(7/16/98)
bwmmag@ris.net gives
this movie stars: "The
movie was the best!!!!!!!" (7/15/98)
bramer@flash.net
gives this movie stars: "my
favorite spice girl is baby spice also known as Emma.I saw the movie 4
times because it was so good.My friends love the Spice Girls also.I wish
I could meet the Spice Girls in person and go to the concert." (7/12/98)
Christieb@aol.com
gives this movie stars: "I
thought it was a very good movie for girls. Even when you are 13, like
me, there is still a side of you that is silly and enjoys cuteness. I really
enjoyed the movie. I'd recommend to girls of all ages who wonder what it's
like to be a Spice Girl. Two thumbs up! Fave Spice: Mel C. Gotta Love Her!
:)" (7/10/98)
Sarah gives this movie stars: "It
was a great movie for chhildren but in order for a grown up to like they
have to like the Spice Girls.I don't see why parents won't even give what
we like a chance.I personaly think the Spice Girls are much better then
rap." (7/2/98)
Julie Spadaro says: "I loved the movie I watched it about 10 times in one day I am buying it soon. When I do it will be all that I watch." (6/29/98)
Brittianey Cooper gives this movie stars: "I
loved it it made think you really think you knew the spicegirls." (6/19/98)
cus55@yahoo.com gives
this movie stars: "It
would be easy to call this movie "Ridiculous" or even "Pathetic"
but on a critical scale it has to be accepted for what it is in essence:
a semi-documentary fun romp from the famous "Spice Girls" who
are not *trying* to create a good movie but just have a lot of fun. The
movie succeeds in its attempt to show just how much fun can be had making
a film, and even though the jokes are recycled, they are delivered with
a degree of humour. Richard E. Grant was splendid, however I felt that
the other guest actors (especially Barry Humphries) was appalling. And
yes, I suppose the Spice Girls *can* act. The continuity was terrible,
but as I said before, it is not attempting to be a good film. I am not
a Spice Girls fan, but I watched this one with an open mind." (6/10/98)
Melany Galeano gives this movie stars: "Is
the greatest I've ever seen. I'm your #1 fan in Honduras, Central America.
I love all of them but especially posh. Write not I don't have email but
I'm waiting for it, so I can get in communication." (6/6/98)
francotong@hotmail.com
gives this movie stars: "The
movie is "Okay, Okay"" (5/18/98)
Jimbo gives this movie stars: "I
could have watched that movie without sound and still given it 5 stars." (4/29/98)
Vannesa gives this movie stars: "This
is a great movie!!!!" (4/25/98)
Samuel Sosa gives this movie stars: "I
think that the movie is very funny, and that the Spice Girls did a good
job because it,s not easy to make a movie, and to be yourself in the movie.
I love it." (4/11/98)
phansen@aol.com gives
this movie stars: "I
gave this movie 5 stars because I thought it was funny BUT I do thinkthey
sing ALOT better than they act! Me and my friends always act like were
the Spice girls. I am a BIG fan of the Spice girls! I think my favorite
Spice girl is Ginger spice but I still like all of the others as well!" (4/11/98)
Shana gives this movie stars: "I
give SPICE WORLD 5 stars because it seemed like it was a bio but it was
made in to a movie.It really showed that the Spice Girls have,I mean really
have GIRL POWER!The girls are totally HOT!The reason why I LOVE and ADORE
them is because they have PERFECT songs and they all are pretty!My favorite
Spice Girl is,well I have two,POSH and SPORTY, because they are kind of
like my personality,but I LIKE all of them. The SPICES have a good temper
about how they feel,because if they dont like them they dont care as long
as they are having FUN!For our school talent show we did Spice Up Your
Life,Shana,Emily,Melissa,Jessica,and Jen did the song in front of the whole
class.Shana was Posh,Emily was baby,Melissa was Ginger,Jessica was Sporty,and
Jen was Scary! THANK YOU FOR MAKING THOSE SONGS!" (4/10/98)
Trev gives this movie stars: "I
thought it was great and I saw it twice to. I think the reason I liked
it so much was because I like them so much." (4/7/98)
Emily gives this movie stars: "It
was kind of a mixed feeling movie it was sad, happy, exciting, and funny
I love the SPICE GIRLS movie or no movie and to prove it I have downloaded
157 pictures of the SPICE GIRLS. I love them all in this order EMMA, GERI,
MEL C., VICTORIA, MEL B." (4/5/98)
Caitlin Haas gives this movie stars: "Spice
world was a great movie I liked when emma slapped victoria. Emma is my
favorite thank you for taking my vote!!!!!!!!!!" (4/2/98)
dunnjes01@shs.com
gives this movie stars: "Hi
you guys, I think that the movie was very funny at some parts and I loved
you shoes in the movie, but I think that some of the parts in the movie
where very weird. You guys did a really good job doing it." (3/30/98)
derrickw@levygee.co.uk
gives this movie stars: "I
must first start by stating that the Spicies are not my favourite group,
far from it. But I reallly liked their film I mean feel sorry for them!
They've tried SO hard and I wish all the best to them." (3/29/98)
Amy gives this movie stars: "I
thought the movie was great.I actually saw it like 20 times.Even though
I am a major Spice Girls Fan I think that a lot of non-Spice Girls fans
would like the movie because it is funny." (3/27/98)
btatem@northrock.com
gives this movie stars: "The
movie was great!!!" (3/6/98)
David gives this movie stars: "Okay,
okay. So it's a bit tacky, no plot, and terrible acting, but this movie
is plain old fun. I'm sure that you could easily grow in love with their
looks (which is brilliant!!). Okay, here it is - on a critical point, it
sucks. But it was (to me) a surprisingly good movie with laughs, lyrics
and good fun." (2/3/98)
