"You telling me that thing's part human?"      

THE RELIC (R) 

If I didn't know any better I'd think someone was trying to do a remake of Aliens...

The Relic, starring Penelope Ann Miller and Tom Sizemore, and directed by Peter Hyams, contains many of those elements you find in the Alien series: a female heroine, people trapped in an enclosed space, and a powerful and grotesque monster that just keeps on coming.  For this film, our heroine is an evolutionary biologist named Margo Green (Miller), who works at Chicago's Field Museum of Natural History (that's the enclosed space), where a "Kothoga" (the genetically aberrant monster) has run wild.  What's the Kothoga doing?  Well, it's decapitating both the staff and the guests as it seeks out the hormones found in the hypothalmic region of the human brain, which it needs in order to survive.  Tom Sizemore plays police lieutenant Vincent D'Agosta, who in partnership with Dr. Green tries to stop the Kothoga as it rips through the museum (and guests) in an absolute killing marathon.

I guess I'll just say this about The Relic: I haven't seen this many beheadings in I don't know how long.  Those who enjoy this kind of thing, and those who like special effects work in film, will definitely enjoy this movie.  Unfortunately, The Relic is no Aliens.  There's something lacking in the terror and suspense department of this film, and although Miller and Sizemore's performances were solid, they weren't stellar.  Hyams' cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek sequences are also disappointingly predictable, and those trying to understand the DNA/hormone/virus roots of the Kothoga won't get any help.  The Relic is, very simply, a slash and gore film set in the scientific backdrop of a world class museum.  Take it for what it is and it's relatively entertaining; expect more and you might start feeling a little trapped yourself...

Responses from cyberspace--thanks for writing, folks!

ecolibo@hotmail.com gives this movie  stars: "The Movie was horrible! It was a total failure. The Book blows the movie away. I just cant believe how bad they hacked the book to make the movie." (5/30/01)

streamdream@earthlink.net gives this movie  stars: "I wrote a review for this movie under spawnbds@aol.com and have now moved to the e-mail address you see above. If you liked this movie like I did and like classic horror/sci-fi E-mail me. Always interested in some Monster Movie fans out there who miss the great days gone by when Movie Monsters were cool like the best of the new batch "The Kothoga". Sidenote, isnt it sad how since I posted that post in 99 that we have not had any other good monster movies (well except for Pitch Black). Hollywood you bore me give me some cool new Monster flicks or Im gonna start taking hypothalimisis. P.S. WE NEED A RELIC SEQUEL ASAP !!!!!!! The Streamer is back and has spoken!!!!" (1/19/01)

cujo48@mailcity.com gives this movie  stars: "I could watch this again & again. I read this book first, so I guess I had to like a movie that was based on the greatness of Relic. Great movie, great cast. Too bad Reliquary isn't a movie too." (1/19/01)

ajax69@excite.com gives this movie  stars: "They need to turn RELIQUARY into a movie as well. Relic had me on the edge of my seat and I have bought the video so I could see it whenever I wanted. I applaud the Writer and the Director. Both were extraordinary. " (10/29/00)

grammy@dol.net gives this movie  stars: "I was disappointed. I had read the book first and they not only switched main characters (which were more believable in the book) but left out details that I felt gave clarity to the story. My husband gave it a three - I would rate it less. I think sometimes reading the book first sets us up for disappointment. Which doesn't say much for the directors - why can't they recreate a good story into a good movie?" (4/29/00)

Ponygirl gives this movie  stars: " Bout' time Kothoga is recognised for his Greatness! The BEST movie monster sience the old classics. Jaws was OK Excorcist was a headtrip, but RELIC nearly made me wet my pants! Thrill a minute gross out, (though I do consider the beast quite handsome). Stan Winston rules, and Kothoga is GOD!" (2/3/00)

gilb0090@tc.umn.edu says: "I haven't seen the movie, but just finished reading the book. After reading it, I know I won't actually watch the movie because I know there is no way it can do justice to everything contained in the story. The book was excellent. There is one question I have: why is everyone referring to the Beast as the "Kothoga?" The Kothoga was the tribe that lived on the plateau who were utterly wiped out by the napalm after Mbwun left. I don't think referring to the monster as "The Kothoga" is really accurate. Did they change that in the movie?" (11/27/99)

spawnbds@aol.com gives this movie  stars: "For all you critics out there saying this film was " crap" you have know idea how to make a good "monster movie". There I said it a monster movie which means you can stay close to factual as you want but if you like you can stretch a little. Being a fan of 50's horror/sci-fi I was very pleased that someone got the message and made a throwback style horror flix. The acting was suitable, a flare of humor at just the right spots and thrills around every museum turn. The Kothoga IS THE BEST HORROR MONSTER OF THE 90's, BAR NONE. This movie is what hollywood needs to look at to begin starting to make some current horror movies. Simple plot, good concepts with a stretch of unbelievablity (if needed), and a GREAT MONSTER. Do you understand hollywood a GREAT MONSTER something lacking from movies today. Now if I do have a complaint it is Mr. Kothoga is not showed enough so I say sequel and If anyone else is with me contact me at my e-mail address. I feel the lack of good horror monsters really stinks and this movie was a movie that wets my appetitte for movies just like this. So come on hollywood Im waiting. P.S. screw the critics THE STREAMER HAS SPOKEN !!!!!!!" (3/11/99)

axolotl66@hotmail.com gives this movie  stars: "To get the best from the film you need to read the book, as most of the subtlety of the story is lost in the film. Effects are good, and the use of almost pitch blackness is effective. Parts of the film are only explained by reading the book. Overall? A very good film, but read the book first..." (2/2/99)

keyhit@aol.com gives this movie  star: "Sucked. Perhaps one-tenth as scary as the book. Yet another example of butchering a book when making it into a movie." (10/14/98)

Anonymous entry says: "The Relic is a superb horror film set on a novel the story starts when a museum employee goes to south africa on an expedition on the way home on a boat he eats reptillian hormoynes changing his body structure this causes him to evolve into the terrifying beast. The beast is imported to a museum this is where it cause major havok. The Relic is a great gory film and I personally give marks 10 out of 10." (5/25/98)

mbrown@mail.one.net gives this movie  stars: "I think this movie was excellent for two reasons, great special effects and the idea of being trapped with something that could tear you to pieces. Believe it or not, the one thing that scared me the most wasn't the looks of the creature, but the way it breathed. I know that sounds corny. But im sure the audience would say the same thing. For instance, when the janator was killed in the bathroom, he heard the breathing now tell me that wouldn't scare you. Overall it's an excellent monster movie." (7/14/97)

Dan Driver gives this movie  stars: "It was an ok movie but, I think that they should have followed the book more than they did. I mean they left out pivitol characters and many exciting parts as well as they changed where it took place (muesum), and were people died and how the "good guys" tracked the beast. The authors made the characters intellegent and human unlike the characters in the movie. Sianara." (6/25/97)

blaksheeps@hotmail.com gives this movie  stars: "This movie was excellent. It startled the heck out of me every ten seconds. A lot of fun too, I saw it twice!! Both times it was a blast." (3/14/97)

ruhland@uwplatt.edu gives this movie  stars: "This is definitely the type of movie that you have to see in the theater to get the full effect. I rated this movie at 4.5 stars because it caught me so off- guard. It was the true essence of an up-to-date, gruesome, horror film. The suddenness of occurances in the movie, made it what it is. (Actually, the plot was better than I had expected, too. Nice work. It ties together well.)" (3/5/97)

gvelez@moon.jic.com gives this movie  star: "Honestly 1 star is probably too much. First of all the movie was too long and boring. Normally in a theater if a movie has some parts where something is scary you can sense the people jump, scream or something but this one was a real waste of time and money. I wouldn't even spend the money to see it when it comes out in video rental." (1/19/97)