"Okay, let's light this candle..."      

MISSION TO MARS (PG)

Reviewed March 12, 2000 - Check out the Mission To Mars Website.

Studio Synopsis: The year is 2020 and NASA has made another giant leap for mankind, successfully landing a team of astronauts on Mars. Shortly after their arrival on the Martian surface, however, Mission Commander Luke Graham (Don Cheadle) and his colleagues encounter something bizarre, shocking, and chilling that brings about a catastrophic and mysterious disaster that decimates the crew. Graham is able to send one hasty, cryptic message back to Earth before his nightmare begins.

Haunted by the enigmatic last communication received from the ill-fated Mars One crew, NASA hurriedly prepares and launches a rescue mission to investigate the tragedy and bring back survivors -- if any. Copiloted by Commander Woody Blake (Tim Robbins) and Jim McConnell (Gary Sinise), with colleagues Dr. Terri Fisher (Connie Nielsen) and scientist Phil Ohlmyer (Jerry O'Connell) on board, the astronauts set out on a heroic six-month journey to Mars.

Fuzzydog Review: I suppose there's no sense mincing words here...Mission To Mars is one utterly uninspired, amazingly disappointing film.  Directed by Brian DePalma, this film does (to its credit) hold its own in the special effects department.  However, all the technical cgi wizardry in the world can't compensate for everything else that's wrong with this film.  From unbelievable characters (one of the astronauts is afraid of the dark?  Hello?) to embarassingly obvious scene-copying from previous space films (can't we do better than copying 2001: A Space Odyssey...again?) to simply ludicrous details throughout the film (what's a NASA-built Mars terrain vehicle doing with a huge "Pennzoil" logo on it?), this film is...how do I say this...ALL WRONG.  When the astronauts aren't behaving like children, they're engaged in unbelievably illogical behavior, all making it very difficult to suspend one's disbelief in this film.  Add to this Mission to Mars' very bland ending, and you have a film that tries to be great but never comes close.  Needless to say, I didn't like this film at all...in fact, all it did was make me want to watch Apollo 13 or Contact again, just to remind myself how a film such as this should be done...

Avoid this one, folks...

Responses from cyberspace--thanks for writing!

David Rogers gives this movie  stars: "I didn't think it was as bad as people think, but I would like to point out to the people who made this movie that giving out the ending to your movie in it's catch phrase ("For years we've been looking for the origin of life on Earth, we've been looking on the wrong planet") is a MAJOR no-no! And the origin of life they gave us wasn't that original, heck that's what I thought happened since I was 12. I'm not saying you should see this, but I'm not saying you shouldn't either, but if your interested in seeing it, wait for the rental price to go down to 99 cents." (1/3/01)

rfksecond2@cs.com gives this movie  stars: "Oh, my! What trash! This whole movie sucked! Here's a list of reasons why... 1.The movie starts out with a party, supposedly the day before the much anticipated takeoff to planet Mars. The whole thing is silly and pointless, filled with bad jokes and horrible attempts at I'm-gonna-miss-you conversations. Besides, if you were gonna have a backyard-barbeque with a bunch of bozos taking off to the planet Mars, would you really have it the DAY before takeoff? All this party really does is warn you what you're in for. 2.If I've ever witnessed bad acting in my life, Mission to Mars is the movie I've seen it in. It isn't entirely the actors fault, though. Whoever wrote the script must have been on something new because I don't think crack can even make you that dumb. Silly jokes, conversations so bad they actors seem embarassed by their own words, etc. Plus, they never acted as scared,worried,excited, nervous, sad, etc. as you think they would be. 3.Some scenes in they middle of the movie seemed to drag on like they weren't gonna end until the second coming of Christ. These scenes by the way, were so pointless and boring anyway, they extended length of them can help cure insomnia. 4.Way too god-d*** confusing! In the time it takes most people to answer 2+2, the passengers of the ship can determine things that Einstein would have to theoriaticaly analyze for many years to come up with. One guy some how associated D.N.A. of something with a cluster of M&M's he made while he was, I dunno, bored with having to act out the terrible script? That's just ONE example of what I mean... 5.The movie starts off like a semi-realistic space journey, but the actors encounter some tornado and it gets a little sci-fi, then it gets realistic again, then it gets REALLY sci-fi. It's like the director was watchig Independence Day and Apollo 13 at the same time while making the film. This would be OK in most films, but not this one. At the end, people end up in the face on Mars. Here is some dialogue section. BAD ACTOR 1: THIS FACE HAS AIR IN IT! BAD ACTOR 2: THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! BAD ACTOR 1: WE'RE MILLIONS OF MILES OF EARTH INSIDE A GIANT WHITE FACE. WHAT'S IMPOSSIBLE? ME: THE FACT THE YOU'RE GETTING PAID FOR THIS CRAP! NOW THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! After this they encounter an Alien, whom depsite the high amounts of cash that went into the making of this film, looked like something bought with change the director found under the couch. The group is shown walking around the solar system, which seemed like an exhibit from an astronomy museum. Then some guy from the team sits in this little chair and blasts away to the deepest parts of the galaxy while the rest of the goofs went home. So what was good about the movie? 1.The tornado thing looked cool. 2.One lucky guy died. The envy the other actors must have felt!" (10/28/00)

sherdavger@yahoo.com gives this movie  stars: "BOOOOORING!!!! I thought this movie would be suspenseful and scary. The only really scary things in the movie were a few malfunctions with the ship (attributed to aliens???? or what?) and a couple of meteor storms on Mars. A total waste of money." (7/5/00)

germanboy gives this movie  star: "puuuuh...man this film was so unbelievable boring...soooooo boring! ok i slept the last thirty minutes but i m sure i didn t miss anything...Mr. de palma what s wrong? bad music,terrible actors,no highlights ...it sucked more than every movie if seen before(in cinema)and the story...boy what a crap! I WANT MY MONEY BACK! grrr" (7/3/00)

aliveinchrist@home.com gives this movie  star: "The worst sci-fi movie i've ever seen. The writers should be banned from ever writing anything except classified ads. This movie is soooo hooky and one cliche' after another! You never get to the point where you like the characters, much less care about what happens to them. Normally good actors, but with this lousy script, they never had a chance. And the music, oh the music is incredibly bad. Terrible, terrible music. This movie is about as bad as "Reindeer Games", also with Gary Sinese, playing the heavy. And I like Sinese and Tim Robbins...(both really good actors). How the hell Sinese could have voluntarily subjected himself to two bad movies in a row is anyone's guess. Do yourself a favor and stay away from these two movies. Not even worth waiting for the video. As sickening as watching Clinton lie to a grand jury, that is more entertaining than MTM...and more sci-fi." (3/22/00)