"At-AT-at-aat-AAT-aT-At-AAAATT!!!!"      

MARS ATTACKS! (PG-13) 

RUN!!!! SAVE YOURSELVES!!! 

From Tim Burton, the creator of such wonderfully wacky films as Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice and The Nightmare Before Christmas, comes Mars Attacks!, possibly the worst Tim Burton production in the history of Tim Burton productions.  What's wrong with this film is not that it's campy or cheesy--that was the intent (I think).  However, there's a type of cheesy that's fun and entertaining, and there's a type of cheesy that simply makes you wince (as in pain) at what you're watching.  Mars Attacks! made me wince.  With its cheap-looking production, its tired jokes, and the horrible acting performances throughout, Mars Attacks! is one of those films that never should have seen the light of day.  But what about that all-star cast, you say?

The marquis cast, including such Hollywood heavyweights as Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnan, Michael J. Fox, Martin Short, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Danny DeVito, do nothing to redeem this ghastly production.  In fact, their presence in this film simply magnifies everything that's wrong with it.  Every single one of these actors have been in much better films than Mars Attacks!, and it's too bad they got sucked into this one...

AT-at-AT-ATAtTT-aT (that's how the Martians talk in this movie).  Sheesh...

Responses from cyberspace--thanks for writing, folks!

rfksecond2@cs.com gives this movie  stars: "This movie is intentionally stupid. I think o fit as a take-off or parody of early Mars horror sc-fi films." (6/17/00)

David Rogers gives this movie  stars: "Not a good comedy, but a great Sci-Fi!" (5/6/00)

jwhite22@prodigy.net gives this movie  stars: "Excellent, period." (9/1/99)

atomatrix@nwn.de gives this movie  stars: "This is one of the coolest, funniest movies I've ever seen and I just can't understand why you are thinking so bad of it. I think you didn't realize that the film was meant to make a fool of all these alien clichés. The computer graphics by ILM, and all the best actors are playing superb roles. Jack Nicholson and Pierce Brosnan made me laugh like I've never laughed before... I love this movie." (1/16/99)

Shawn Demick gives this movie  stars: "One of the Best movies I've seen. Better than ID4. And I loved the Martians realistic graphics." (9/1/97)

cosmos@mail.utexas.edu gives this movie  stars: "this movie had excellent visual effects but suffered in the acting dept. Also it seemed a little to mean spirited and had no sympathic characters." (6/28/97)

monte@aol.com gives this movie  stars: "Campy and hilarious...esp the country western music killing the invaders..." (6/19/97)

tdang@pathcom.com gives this movie  stars: "Better than ID4." (4/6/97)

tazzie@iafrica.com gives this movie  stars: "This is the most stupidest unrealistic movie of the century. It shoulden't have been released on earth Who ever decided to make such a ridiculous movie It was pathetic in every sense & a disgrace to aliens all over." (3/21/97)

anonymous entry of  stars: "It is pretty disgusting, but it's not that bad of a movie." (2/2/97)

raddoc@vcn.com gives this movie  star: "It is a very very bad movie." (2/1/97)