"You can't bench press your way out of this one."      

JINGLE ALL THE WAY (PG) 

In Jingle All The Way, Arnold Schwazenegger plays Howard Langston, an ever-on-the-go businessman who never seems to have enough time for his family.  Howard has a history of disappointing his son Jamie (Jake Lloyd), turning up as a no-show in all of the important events of Jamie's life.  Well, after missing his son's karate class one day, Jake decides to make it up to Jamie, promising to get him the hottest toy of the season, a Turbo Man doll.  Unfortunately, it's Christmas Eve and, as Jake quickly learns, Turbo Man has been sold out for weeks...

It doesn't take much imagination to guess where this is all going.  Jingle All The Way is very simply a mad-scramble-to-get-a-hot-toy-for-Christmas movie that tries to be funny and exciting and heart-warming all in one neat little package.  Unfortunately, this movie doesn't live up to expectations.

Here's the Christmas list:

• This movie, more than any he has starred in lately, reveals Arnold's weaknesses as an actor. He never seemed in his element until he donned the Turbo Man suit (which he doesn't do until towards the end of the movie).
• Sinbad, who really has a lot of charisma, is also badly-utilized in this film.  The man is much more entertaining than this!
• I guess what I'm saying is that both Sinbad and Arnold were really annoying in this movie.
• Which doesn't even address the very questionable premise of the entire film.  Can a father really make up for years of neglect by simply buying his son a toy?!

I will concede that the ending parade sequence was a pretty entertaining piece in itself, but it doesn't make up for the rest of Jingle, which is disappointingly formulaic, juvenile, and mean-spirited.  Stay away from this one if you can...

Responses from cyberspace--thanks for writing!

Eoakwell@BTInternet.com gives this movie  stars. (12/12/00)

Topenga gives this movie  stars: "This was a good movie. It had everything that a good holiday movie should have. " (10/2/00)

rfksecond2@cs.com gives this movie  stars: "funny." (6/19/00)

David Rogers gives this movie  stars: "What is wrong with you people? This was one of Arnold's best! Not as good as the Running Man, but at least it wasn't as crappy as Terminater 2!" (5/6/00)

anna.kinard@gte.net gives this movie  star: "I live in Minnesota, snow only looks like that when it is July, and it is fake. Arnold should stick to action/adventure." (11/30/98)

benray55@hotmail.com gives this movie  stars: "Why does everyone hate this movie I like Arnie as an action hero and he did a great job in this too. Sinbad was kind of annoying, and the part wih James Belushi was stupid, but the whole movie was great and the ending was not what I expceted. Recommended!" (4/22/98)

angela@netcomuk.co.uk gives this movie  stars: "Jingle All The Way was never presented as 'War and Peace', it's a great cotton candy movie for the child in all of us. I bought it for my son and the whole family enjoyed it. I am an unashamed Schwarzenegger fan anyway and know that Arnold is not a great actor, and I'm sure he knows it, but he is a great entertainer. And surely that is what counts." (2/18/98)

David gives this movie  stars: "What a dodgy film. Some fun parts but that's it. It's full of sh**! It's drags on and on and only a movie for real immature kiddies! It sucked!" (1/24/98)

wbrooks210@aol.com gives this movie  stars: "This movie was very entertaining to my 3year old grandson. I only problem I had with this movie is that my grandson is convinced that there is a Turbo Man doll and I can't convince him otherwise. He has been in every toy store asking for it. What's a grandmother to do? Would love to know if there is such a doll and if so where it can be purchased or if there are any plans for future manufacturing of one" (12/5/97)

Enta gives this movie  star: "During this movie (which might I add was made specifically for children) I counted four occasions where there was cursing, and two occasions of adult men drinking alcohol. This is not something that I think little kids should be exposed to." (12/4/97)

Scot Jaster gives this movie stars. (12/4/97)

Greg Barta gives this movie  stars: "it was funny ever time when they bust stuff and i watched it it was pretty good of a movie it was pretty coll but the kid he gets mad at two parts of the movie but i liked i give 4.5 stars man cause i thought it harlous wel, gotta chow seya" (11/23/97)

jgrant5083@aol.com gives this movie  stars: "It's awesome." (11/22/97)

Frank Pagan says: "the movie was only good when arnold got into that turbo man suit. he {arnold} should have bin turbo man . also the theme music for turbo man was great. the character turbo man was a good idea ,and was an exelent superhero, yet it was lost in the movie do to the fact that arnold and sinbad acting like idiots." (11/21/97)

soosaar@ttk17.edu.ee gives this movie  film: "good film." (10/29/97)