"Pray you didn't forget your bug spray."      

ANACONDA (PG-13) 

A film crew makes a trip to the Amazon in search of a long lost native tribe.  On their journey they run into a stranded boat and a man named Paul Sarone (Jon Voight), who makes a living out of catching snakes.  Sarone is obsessed with capturing a legendary 40-foot, man-eating Anaconda. "Think how much money that would be worth," he proposes.  "Snakes don't eat people," director Terry Flores (Jennifer Lopez) exclaims skeptically.  "Oh yeah?" Sarone replies, tracing a badly healed scar on his cheek.

Hey, does anyone NOT know where all this is going?  The basics of Anaconda are quite simple.  There's a group of seven people in a small boat floating down the Amazon river.  Six of these people are from a film crew, and one of them is searching for a snake.  It so happens that the one person searching for the snake is an obsessed psychopath.  It also so happens that the snake he is looking for really does exist, and it is very, very, very hungry.

In Anaconda, you will not be surprised that a bunch of people get eaten alive.  You will furthermore not be surprised at who gets eaten, and at what points in the movie they meet their doom.  Anaconda is campy, it's ridiculous, it's a film who's special effects are so obvious that they constantly remind you that what you're seeing isn't real.  It's also, in its own way, a lot of fun.  Jon Voight's performance as the demented Sarone is a pleasure to watch, and the rest of the cast (Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Eric Stoltz, Kari Wuhrer, Owen Wilson, and Jonathan Hyde) are entertaining enough to keep you in your seat. 

Anaconda will never become an all-time movie classic, but it's a fairly entertaining ride and (at a relatively short 1 1/2 hour running time) not too time-consuming for those with busy schedules.

Responses from cyberspace--thanks for writing!!

holly6902000@yahoo.com gives this movie  stars: "Even though I knew it was all fake, it was cool to think 'Could there really be a snake this big out there?' I loved it, the actors were all good and the action was the best." (6/22/01)

Barry gives this movie  stars: "Fun action film" (12/12/00)

beereid@impulse.net.au gives this movie  stars: "i think this film kicked ass it has great acting and great acters.I realy like icecube and anacondas.If you dont like it you must be insane." (6/24/00)

rfksecond2@cs.com gives this movie  stars: "It seems like all who rated this movie were either one way or another. I guess I'm no exception. But what I've noticed is that you have to see this movie at the show or it's boring. At was at the edge of my seat the whole time while at the show, but got bored after I rented it. The suspense doesn't pull you in inside your living room." (6/17/00)

bonhod@webtv.net gives this movie  stars: "I like the movie it was very scary and i want to see it again." (6/3/00)

polatsek@hotmail.com gives this movie  stars: "I loved the movie it was really yuck when Anaconda ate people. I loved the movie so much I saw it 6 times non stop and did a big as study on it for my school work. My fav part was when they were down at that gate trying to open it and the guy is in the water and the other guy pulls him out just before Anaconda comes. What is your fav part? Anyway thankyou for taking the time to read this letter. Yours faithfully Miss Tessa Polatsek-age 12 =)" (5/20/00)

webguy@gci-net.com gives this movie  stars: "Too bad you can't rate lower than 1 star, I would. I won't even go into why this movie was just bad but I will say this. Watch the movie again (if you can stand to) and fast forward to the scene with the waterfall. Now isn't that interesting? I've never seen a waterfall that runs backwards! Yes, I caught that the first time I watched it. Before I even got to that part I already thought it was bad but once I saw the reverse waterfall that confirmed every notion I had about this film. Blech!" (5/8/00)

David Rogers gives this movie  stars: "Hello!!!!!!! Anacondas are not that big! And they don't attack adult humans! In reality they are afraid of humans, and that mean they're weeners!" (5/6/00)

venusflytrap@lwol.com gives this movie  stars: "Hi,I like it I am a snake fan it was nice and scarey cool anaconda. I like the part were the snake would sneak up on the people and then kill them by constricting them. I would of gave it 100 stars but that wasnt on the star list. Good by." (3/9/00)

David Harrell gives this movie  stars: "i think this movie was funny and fantastic. it was cool to see the anaconda eat everything in it's path. this movie got me interested in snakes[ but my most favorite is the anaconda snake ]. i've even gotten a no-fear hat that has two eyes on it and a mouth and i call it the anaconda hat. well, anaconda's have no-fear of anything. i even beg my dad alot to let me have an anaconda. i wish i ccould give a zillion star rating on the movie but, the computer won't let me." (8/21/99)

jessfrogy@prodigy.net gives this movie  stars: "This movie was alright it made u jump every now and then and had a half decent plot in a cheap horror film kinda way,but why couldent ice cube die. plus the closer u looked at the snake the faker it was" (8/19/99)

ShadowRaider_98@yahoo.com gives this movie  star: "Stupid. Absolute garbage." (6/24/99)

keeleyek@concentric.net gives this movie  stars: "I LOVE JOHN VOIGHT, I don't know why I went to this movie cause IT LOOKED BAD! But when I was there I had a great time laughing at Paul Sorrone! I think John Voights accent in this movie is the sh*t!" (1/23/99)

squeakie@sfsu.edu gives this movie  stars: "The movie was fun, I think people who gave it a bad review are in denial. I did not go in expecting oscar performances, it's a movie about a big snake what did you expect." (11/10/98)

jiji@sps-elsys.com gives this movie  stars: "I liked the movie. I saw it 8 times and as a result I kind of fell in lust for Jon Voight... yes, I did. Really." (11/6/98)

littlemidget@hotmail.com gives this movie  stars. (10/14/98)

Corey gives this movie  stars: "I did not see the movie." (10/9/98) (Corey must be psychic or something...**smile** -- fuzzydog)

realplayer69@hotmail.com gives this movie  stars: "It´s a good movie with many special effects, and story it self is very good and funny also...but it´s not a perfect movie. So 4 stars only......." (9/20/98)

subzero01@hotmail.com gives this movie  stars: "I love this film. It's scary and funny. I love the sneaking up to the person and the anaconda eat thems. The movie was fanastic. The movie was awesome. It's the action packed thriller of the year." (9/19/98)

screamm@global.co.za gives this movie  star: "One word. BORING!!! I rented the video and ended up fast forwarding to the good parts. There were none." (9/3/98)

Dominique gives this movie  stars: "I liked the film is was exciting and awesome, whoever says its bad then your screwed up pal." (7/16/98)

Josh gives this movie  stars: "I thought the movie wa an exciting and horrifying film, it was excellent. I think they did a great job on it. The only thing wrong was that the real anacondas are so heavy that they could never move like they did in the movie, but I liked it anyway." (7/15/98)

scanniff@gis.net gives this movie  stars: "Special effects obvious, but I thought it was a good, old-fashioned scary movie. Kept me on edge of my seat, wondering what was around the next bend. (Bet YOU didn't think it was a wild boar chasing that couple!) A good performance by Jon Voight, who has not been around much lately. He's as sinister as Anthony Hopkins and DeNiro." (7/9/98)

Danny D'mello gives this movie  stars: "This movie was very good to me as i am asnake lover. I like to find out more about snakes. Since i have heard that Anaconda is the largest and heaviest of all other snakes i was wanting to see this movie. The movie reveals anaconda after a long time, that's what i dont like. The starting of the movie seems that everything is all right. I would like to give my opinion as showing the snake from the start. If you would have shown some snake fight in the movie it would have really gone superhit." (7/7/98)

sgm123@mindspring.com gives this movie  star: "First of all, why is No Stars unavailable in this system? This film, a fakish, badly executed "horror" will make even the most determined of snake fans feeling that something was missing. This movie just proves that, just because almost everybody dies, it shouldn't be considered a thriller. And what was with Voight's corpse winking after being regurgitated by the snake? And Hyde's death? Enough already." (6/23/98)

David gives this movie  star: "Um..Hello ? This movie s...s...s..s..s..sucked !!!!!!! No action, no fun, no big story, no good acting. This movie is appauling. I actually would have liked to give it NO STARS but it isn't available !" (1/23/98)

cus55@yahoo.com  stars: "You may be surprised at such a low rating compared to the other reviewers, but I must say that Anaconda was a lot of fun. The effects were good, some good scares, and a nastily creepy Amazon setting. But when you think about this film compared to some of the other great films of 1997 which are worth 3.5 stars, you can't compare Anaconda to those. 2 out of 2 for fun, 0 out of 3 for quality." (1/12/98)

texan_@hotmail.com gives this movie  stars: "The movie was good! action and all but of all thes critics no one gives credit to the actor Kari Salin (Wuhrer) as Denise Kalber it dosent even mintion her dramatic death seen so pictures of the fight or anything I was dissapointed in that." (10/29/97)

jedi.ou.edu gives this movie  stars: "I love the movie! You need more pictures of the anacondas on the internet." (10/20/97)

solomongrundy@hotmail.com gives this film  stars: "All I've got to say is the movie sucked after the tragic hero Ownen Wilson got devoured by the snake. That ticked me off so much that I just about left the theater." (6/18/97)